When is enough enough

its bad enough when your mother has been tearing you down for years, instead of making you a confident and capable adult she shapes you into an insecure and anxious ridden type-A personality that fears her and her alcoholism. I start my bachelors in January so im trying to square away all forms i asked her weeks ago for her tax forms and had to push for it today so i could make copies and express ship it out before the office closed, well she was too drunk and on the phone an hour ago to sign. now its closed and im fucked. three fucking forms and she couldnt just sign them? REALLY? just have another drink im sure that will make it better.


my bf on the other hand makes me wana curl up and die right now because HE was running late and with the way things have been going i dont think tomorrow will work for seeing him and i expressed so, now mind you he works for sprint and this is the HUGE iphone shit event so its not like "oh you're choosing your work over me" its i think your guna be tired. he got so mad he actually yelled at me to stop saying that and he said hed be there so stop saying he wont. now im afraid to even text him let alone talk to him, i dont want to feel like i have to walk on egg shells when it comes to my bf, and i have been because with me in general i need to walk on egg shells, but this is above and beyond what i normally attempt and its causing me to feel dead inside i just want to see/feel that little bit of blood that will make this emotional turmoil go away but i cant and wont. but oh god do i want to. its tearing me up inside.


I dont know what to do about how i am feeling inside because i feel i have run out of options. my bf keeps saying hes a shitty bf and that im guna find someone and leave him and its not true and i want to scream it in his face i want to beat it into him and i cant do any of that. I need a padded room where i can just scream, cry, tear my hair out and slam my head against a wall until i no longer feel this way.