...is there anyone there...

Right now more than anything I need a miracle. I need something that is going to make me want to wake up each morning and live through each day. My boyfriend is amazing, but he cant fix what was broken from birth whether or not he thinks he can. I love him dearly and I know my feeling like this hurts him so. But if I dont get a FT job and out of this apartment soon I really am just going to have to be committed because the little sanity I have left is leaking out of me and no matter how tight i try to holf myself together, I am failing.